Bad Bingo Rules

Rule Number 1 

When Making A Claim It Is Your Responsibility

To Shout Loud Enough So The Host Can Hear You

If The Hosts Penis Was As Big As His Mouth, Then He Would Be Useful
 

Rule Number 2

Be Happy If You Win A Prize

Even If It’s Shit

 

Rule Number 3

This Will Be The Craziest Night Of Your Life, And Alcohol Will Add To The Fun But Don’t Drink So Much Vodka That You Wake Up With A Russian Accent and Don’t Drink To The Point Where You Think You Will Sleep Like A Baby, Because That Means Pissing Yourself 4 Times And Crying Most Of The Night

 

Rule Number 4

No Drugs Are Allowed At All

We Are Sure That Some People Have A Fantasy Of Being Handcuffed,

And If Anyone Is Caught With Drugs Of Any Kind

Then We Will Gladly Make Your Fantasy Come True

With The Help Of The Police

 

Rule Number 5

No Smoking Is Permitted In The Venue

Unless You Are On Fire

 

Rule Number 6

 Please Do Not Dance On The Chairs, Benches Or Tables

If You Fall Off And Break Your Legs, Then Don’t Come Running To Us

 

Rule Number 7

 Although We Don’t Have A Specific Dress Code

We Hope That Most Of You Have Made An Effort

If You’ve Come Dressed Looking Like A Fucking Tramp

Then Just Like A Sarcastic Washing Machine,

We Will Take The Piss Out Of Your Clothes

 

Rule Number 8

 Unlike The Jeremy Kyle Show, We Like Our Audience To Have Teeth

We Love Audience Participation At Bad Bingo

A Sing Off, A Dance Off, A Take Your Bra Off

But Please Do Not Act With Any Kind

Of Aggressive Behaviour Towards Our Staff Or Each Other

As It May Result In Having Your Teeth Knocked Out

 

Rule Number 9

 The Bar Staff At This Venue Are Always Happy And Smiling

(Although You Would Be Smiling Too If You Were Stealing Money Out Of The Tills)   

Please Be Aware That This Venue Operates A Challenge 25 Policy

So ID Maybe Requested When Purchasing Drinks

 

And Rule Number 10

Remember That The Host Is Always Right

Even When He Says That He Is Glad That His Mum 

Didn't Swallow Him Or He Wouldn't Be Here Today

Love Him Or Hate Him, His Decision Is Final

So Enjoy Yourselves, Have Fun And Have The Craziest Night Of Your F**king Life